April 16: Dark Day in Blacksburg

“I was a newspaper reporter on the day of the Columbine shootings; I still remember how the news almost made me physically ill (and it was one of the reasons I left journalism). I feel the same way today…”

It’s difficult enough to know how to respond to a tragedy like today’s shootings at Virginia Tech University. Things get a bit more hazy when you’re forced to juggle your feelings and convictions as a human being with your responsibilities as a journalist. Hundreds of people across the country were presented with the moral and ethical weight of that dilemma from newspapers, television stations and the innumerable other news outlets.

Even The Towerlight had to answer this call.

Upon arriving at the newspaper office for our weekly Monday afternoon meeting I was informed that we were leaning towards putting out a special edition paper to be printed and distributed on Tuesday (as opposed to our twice-weekly, Monday and Thursday issues). This idea is not unprecedented. In past years special editions have been put out in response to a former university president’s resignation, a meningitis scare, and a missing student. However in my four years at the school it is the first such instance (Mark Perkins’ resignation in 2002 is the most recent). What makes this situation unique is the fact that it is the first time The Towerlight has released a special section devoted to something unrelated to Towson University.

Not long after our meeting I found the above comment in response to the news release on planetblacksburg.com. And it immediately struck a cord with me. I could never imagine directly dealing with Columbine or the Va. Tech shootings. Being on location talking to those whose lives were put in danger, and whose loved ones were killed. How do you approach them? How do you explain to them that you aren’t solely interested in breaking a story or getting a good soundbite. That you are genuinely concerned about their feelings. That there is no way you will ever be able to relate to their emotions, but that you will do all you can to take them into account.

It’s my biggest qualm with the field I have chosen to dedicate my life to.

In instances like this I feel the inner struggle most deeply. In literature we analyze the various forms of conflict present within a novel; man vs. man, man vs. nature, man vs. environment, man vs. technology, man vs. animal, man vs. self. The list goes on. The lattermost form seems to be the most evident in the life of a journalist. Man vs. Self. Human being vs. Journalist. How do you juggle the two? I always imagine my sensitivites as a human being having the upperhand. Whether that will make me a good or bad journalist in the long run is something I have often wondered.

I did not do any writing for the special edition issue, but I did have to contact two important sources. One was Andrew Mager, a recent graduate of Va. Tech, who still lives within a mile of the Blacksburg campus and is a developer of planetblacksburg.com. I sent him an Instant Message to see if he would be willing to talk about his findings, experience, viewpoint, and the responsibility of PB in response to the shootings. I talked to him on the phone only to hear about the death of his friend Ryan Clark just moments prior to our phone call. I could not even begin to imagine the impact that had on him. For the next five or so minutes we talked about the incidents, how they were the only ones on campus at the time, how PB had over 100,000 hits at midday as opposed to the 6-7,000 daily hits they are accustomed to. How there is a feeling of utter shock on campus, far beyond that following the shooting in late August that also occured on the Va. Tech campus. It was surreal. Talking to a friend who I had only met over the summer as a fellow intern about the death of 33 of his peers just hours earlier. Our first phone conversation. And about something as terrible as this. Damn.

The other person I spoke to was Lindsay Lowder, an intern for Towson’s chapter of Campus Crusade for Christ. I uncomfortably explained myself to her among a number of other students present in the Campus Ministry Center prior to their prayer vigil; that we were looking for perspectives from various people around campus including leaders of religious groups. The fact that she was an ‘06 Tech graduate was the icing on the cake, and her tear-filled eyes the reason for my compounded nerves. She agreed to write a joint statement with Jen Smoker, one of Cru’s leaders and another Tech graduate. Nonetheless, it was the most nerve wrecking thing I have had to do in my brief experience as a journalist.

Both Andrew and Lindsay handled my request with grace and understanding. I think it’s safe to say many reporters and writers around the country had much more difficulty in fulfilling their journalistic obligations in the face of heartache and tragedy.

It’s a major concern I have as I plan to enter the field in the coming months. It’s one of the reasons I have strayed away from newspaper in favor of sports broadcasting. However I am fully aware in every medium, and in every focus, it’s an unavoidable issue. That’s just the world we live in today.

All this is of course secondary to the fact that today was a disgusting day in the history of our country, and terrifying and reprehensible acts occured to a number of innocent human beings.

That alone is difficult enough to swallow.

35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

~Romans 8:35-39